I have joined the weigh station again. That’s what I now call Weight Watchers. I have to face the fact that, that is my support group. I just wished we’d sit in a circle and say, “Hello, my name is Charlie.” Then the group responds, “Hello, Charlie!” Each week I go in to seek approval from the scales.
I have told myself again that this time I sticking with it. You’d think I’d figure out that I’m a liar. I have done well. I have eaten a lot of 0 point foods. (If you don’t know about Weight Watchers everything has a point. If you get the most points you don’t win it just means you’re fatter and need points to live.) I have been drinking at least ½ gallon of water a day. I’ve burned a tremendous amount of calories looking for bathrooms.
This evening I went to the gym. You can tell it’s important to me because I forgot my number. I spent 20 minutes trying to look cool at the keypad by the door secretly hoping someone would come out so I could slip in. Of course they didn’t.
I spotted a free treadmill and got it cranking. I notice home girl across the gym running on hers sideways, and the sweaty red headed man beside her running like I do at 4:59 at the all-you-can-eat-buffet to get the supper menu for the lunch price.
My fear was just getting out down by a senior citizen. I think I’m going to bed and have Ben and Jerry Dreams.
Charlie McCoin is an actor, comedian and writer from Nashville, Tennessee. He brings his unique style of comedy to the stage using clever wit and southern charm. He's performed all over the country from Nashville to Chicago to Los Angeles and a few living rooms in between. He's also an accomplished actor, which means he's auditioned a lot.